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It will be now or never for the players assembled here at the Mauresmo Masters. Vanessa Child has decided to pull out to make sure she doesn’t miss the Parisian fashion week, she is here supporting her ‘close friend’ NEA however. Because of that NEA has been promoted to the top seed, PSALT takes the second spot. Jennacourt and Stroganoff follow them in the seedings. NEA has been given an endlessly tricky draw, Mollusk then likely Stevos. PSALT was granted no favors either, facing Doublea then either J-man or Ying-Chang.
Jennacourt was given a much simpler draw, playing out of form Phobia in the first round. She will then play either Dave or Jbors, Dave has been out of sorts all season, and Jbors seems to be taking getting dumped rather hard. He has not been seen without a can of chocolate frosting since. At the urging of Jbors’ old flame, I will tell you Jbors’ true whereabouts. Since his arrival in Paris he has been seen in Paris’ most heralded strip club, drinking himself silly, holding a picture of Leftys, bawling, asking the dancers if they have seen ‘my baby’.
Finally there is Stroganoff, who will need to be ready to go from the start. Agassi will be their first opponent, followed by Tricatrina or Leftys. Either one could be tough, Tricatrina is always a threat, while Leftys is finding form on carpet.
Matches to Watch
PSALT-Doublea
PSALT has been up and down this I indoor season. Following great events with poor ones. Doubles has been rather consistent for the most part. PSALT is by far the more decorated of the two on carpet, it is typically his most consistent surface each year. If he wants to make his third straight Paris final, he will need to play great tennis. Doublea is capable of winning, he ousted PSALT on carpet in their last meeting.
Dave-Jbors
Dave was talking about a true breakthrough season after his Oz final, since then he has played…….. poorly to be nice about it. Jbors has had an ego-deflating season, after a wonderful run last year, he is struggling to win matches. Dave is not spectacular on this surface, still he is always consistent and keeps the errors down. That should be enough.
I have an interview with PSALT today.
Q. You have been quite bad for most of the season, what has happened to you.
PSALT. Well. At least for my Aussie Open final defense, I do know that NEA slipped something into my drink. He is a pathetic soul like that. For the rest of the season, I don’t know. It’s hard to play your best when you have no many fellow players cheering against you. Besides a few, everyone on tour dislikes me. Their jealous.
Q. Tell us about the love triangle between Leftys, Jbors, and yourself.
PSALT. What love triangle? Jbors is just a sad little person trying to get Leftys back. Here’s an example. Leftys and I were watching a scary movie in my hotel room last night. Leftys got scared, so…. You know she cuddled up closer to me. Suddenly we hear a knocking on the window, we look out, there stands Jbors, soaking outside in the rain. He was holding a sign that said ‘Separate ends of the coach’. He had climbed 6 stories to do that. He’s a little freak.
Q. You will play close friend Doublea, tell us what you will have to do to beat him.
PSALT. Doublea is a great player, I do think the match depends entirely on me. If I am at my best, I will beat him on any surface, end of story. I just have to get my strokes going. I need to have a good first serve percentage as well. I have been working on my serve lately. I think I can do it though. I wish him the best of luck, maybe I’ll give him a game.
