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PSALT

[Season 3] (Day 23) PSALT's Preview: Wimbledon

The third Major of the year is upon us, The Championships. Here, everyone must wear mostly white, and generally must be on their best behavior or risk trouble from the etiquette obsessed Tournament Directors here. As one of the most prestigious sporting events in the world (not just tennis tournament) it’s name pops into the mind of the most tennis-challenged people in the world when they think of tennis. It’s almost obsessionally manicured courts, pure white tennis outfits, it’s strawberries and cream, and never dying love story with tradition have set it apart from the other tennis events on tour. Most importantly though Wimbledon is the home of Center Court, the court that the rest of the tenhnis world revolves around, the court every tennis hopeful wants to be on holding a trophy above their head one day (besides the brainwashed children of S. America and S.Europe).

Neverthless, tradition is broke here every so often, and this season will be the first to use a special kind of seeding system. This year, not only do the seeds depend on the players ranking, it depends on their past results on grass. As you can imagine, with that brings controversy. This season players like Doublea, PSALT, J-man, Leftys, and Stevos have all complained about low seeding, or in some cases not being seeded at all. I have an EXCLUSIVE interview with Tournament Directors of Wimbledon, I am the only tennis journalist with that story so of course stay tuned, of course it helps to be one of only three tennis journalists in the world, but who’s really counting?

Another controversy surrounding the tour that I am updating on is the recent namecalling from NEA directed at Mollusk. NEA who had just suffered a loss to Mollusk, made the following statement. “So far I haven't won a game, losing to Mollusk, yes Mollusk - somebody named after a crab or something”. I managed to get a hold of Mollusk outside of his hotel to get a quick statement about the matter.

Q. You were personally insulted by NEA were you not? Was his name calling mean spirited and uncalled for? If you would, would you explain how your parents got the idea to call you Mollusk?

Mollusk. It's no very nice to make fun of people's name, but you know, they don't know where it comes from. Everyone has their own, umm, country or nation that they come from and their names too.

I have three interviews for my Wimby preview. So here they are, for you enjoyment. I will start out with the Wimbledon Tournament Director.

Q. Controversy has surrounded the Wimbledon seeds. Players like PSALT, Doublea, Stevos, J-man, and Leftys have complained about "bias". What do you say? American PSALT has accused you of bias towards the highest ranked Brit, NEA. NEA who despite having won only a half-dozen matches in his career on grass is seeded 5th. What do you say about that?

WTD. The Wimbledon seeds are based on ranking and past Wimbledon results. N_E_A reached the semi finals last year, and it ranked 6 in the world. That is a big plus and he definitely should be seeded above the others. Yodavitch has equal results but is ranked 16, and Tricatrina, despite being ranked one place higher, has only reached one quarter final.

Q. Naturally, as people become more liberal minded, they tire of many traditions. Wimbledon is no different. Many people complain about your refusal to pay female players the same amount of money as their male counterparts. What do you say about that?

WTD. We do pay them equal prize money. Ever since the combining of the tour tours the money has been equal.

Q. Another controversy surrounding your event, is the sand used on the courts. People say you have sold into baseliners, yada, yada, yada, seriously, they b*tch about it enough you have their complaints memorized. Oops, should I have said that? Anyway, what is your opinion on that?

WTD. The lawns at Wimbledon are one of the fastest courts that we play on, and the sand has not affected play too much. Some argue that the courts are too slow; some say they're too fast, but they are the way they are.

Q. One last question, being British yourself, naturally you must be compelled to root for British players. In your opinion will the two British youngsters ever bring back a Wimby trophy to the UK?

WTD. Yes of course we want our own players to win, but their time will come. I think both of them will one day be Wimbledon champions and it is possible that this could be the first one! Last year N_E_A reached the semi finals and he has improved a great deal since then. Just give them time.

French Open Champion, J-man,

Q. Firstly, congrats on your French title. Ok, as an American obviously, playing in an all-American French Open final, how was the French crowd? Displeased? Surprised? What?

J-man. The French crowd was surprised and so was the whole tennis world. Americans aren't known for their talent on clay. So it was a big surprise. But the fans seemed to get behind PSALT and me.

Q. You have had a relatively poor grass seasonette (not big enough to be a season). Does that take the pressure of you for Wimby? Really not expected to win?

J-man. I'd say yes. It does take the pressure off of me. But some people expect to do well because of my type of game style (big groundies). So it's about half and half. But I'm giving it my best and trying to make it a successful season 3 FTL Wimbledon

Q. Do you consider yourself a power claycourter now? With all your success on clay is that your home now?

J-man. Yes I would consider myself a power clay courter. As you well know I don't hit with tons of Topspin, like a usual clay courter would. I'm comfortable on clay, but it's not my home surface. I was raised on Hardcourts and that is my home surface!

Q. A bitter, and now fired, Tennis Magazine reporter called interviewing you "boring". What do you think of that?

J-man. I admit I'm a bit boring. I don't they should have fired him because he had an opinion about me. But let's face I don't talk trash or BS about players. I tell it like it is.

Q. What do you think of being the "Nutcase" (in the sense that you could play great one day, or play horribly) of the tour? Are you deserving of that title?

J-man. I don't like the term "nutcase". But the definition is fitting. Even I admit, I'm not very consistent, which is one thing here I'm trying to fix with my coach.

Q. Who are your picks for Wimbledon?

J-man. My picks for Wimbledon. ME!! Just kidding. I think John Edelstein. He's been playing some good tennis. I haven't really looked at the top players record on grass (don't need to look at mine). I would love to see an English man win this year though!!

Finally Doublea,

Q. You have complained about your seeding, correct? What is wrong with it and what is wrong with this system?

Doublea. Yes, I have complained about the seeding system. Take a look at the seedings, and you'll see why. J-Man, dav6789, and I all have higher rankings and have had comparatively superior seasons than Adelaide, Ying Chang, and Valkryie, yet we are all seeded behind them. Does this really make sense? Like, the player ranked ninth (J-Man) should definitely not be seeded fifteenth. This seeding system is obviously put in place to award players who have had success here in the past, but when someone drops that many places, you know something's wrong.

Q. You obviously have always got so much attention on grass, but this season you have lost early in both of your warmups, what is the problem? Do you think that all the attention you get about winning Wimby is still undeserved?

Doublea. Well, I guess I haven't really proven myself on grass, but I'm almost expected to win on it based on my playing style. I expect that I will have success on grass, but I'm just not sure when I can sustain the level on grass every match... I sure hope it will be soon. I think I get so much attention on grass because my game should suit the surface perfectly. I do feel most natural on grass, but for some reason, I seem to be less consistent on it so far in my career. That'll hopefully change at Wimbledon.

Q. What do you think of NEA's colorful-if inaccurate- description of Mollusk? NEA does things like that often, what is the opinion of him in the locker room?

Doublea. I nearly laughed out loud when he said that (that Mollusk was some sort of crab). He's one of my friends, and I think that that just shows how much raw wit he's got.

Q. You have always tried to get to net often during Wimbledon; does the fact that the courts have sand in them affect you? Is Wimbledon making a mistake doing it?

Doublea. Well, I can't go to the net on grass now as often as I did in my junior career because of the sand. I think it was really wrong that they did that... making the game easier isn't part of the equation. It's a bit hypocritical too, because they always say that tradition is the primary focus. The addition of sand to the grass is probably the most untraditional move they could have made.

Q. Who are your picks for Wimbledon?

Doublea. Hopefully, I can come through, but it'll be tough against the likes of Edelstein, Vanessa Child, PSALT, N_E_A, dav6789, J-Man, leftys_rock, and others. Each person has a distinctive game style, and all of them can play on grass, so that's what will make this Wimbledon so tough. I think a member will claim the title. Won't say who.

Like the French I have Stevos' picks, I also have Dave's. Like last time, be gentle.

Dave,

SF

Vanessa Child bt. Not_Even_Amateur 6-4 6-3
Bizet bt. John Edelstein 7-6 4-6 6-4

F

Vanessa Child bt. Bizet 6-2 4-6 6-2

Stevos

Vanessa Child - Easy draw, shouldn't face too much difficulty until quarters
Leftys_Rock - Has a nightmare against Dave in the R32, but I'm confident she'll make it out alive
Xdoublea - Great season, tough opener against Stevos, then maybe JE, but can go the distance
Bizet - Semizet will get there, dont expect much else though!

Finalist - Xdoublea will get by Bizet, but will have too much trouble with Feder...oops I mean Vanessa Child on grass

Winner - Vanessa Child - Amazing on grass, especially at Wimbledon. Its hers...

Yes, I did notice how corny some of Stevos' jokes were, "Semizet!"

Here are my picks,

Child def Beta 6-1 6-2
Stroganoff def Alice 7-5 6-4
PSALT def Agassi 6-7 6-4 7-6
Tricatrina def Aztec 6-2 6-2
NEA def Tennis Fan 6-0 6-4
Valkryie def Avolt 6-2 3-6 6-4
Leftys def Dave 6-4 6-7 6-3
Jennacourt def Ronatta 6-0 6-0
Bizet def Fulgora 6-4 6-4
J-man def Nortan 7-6 6-2
Adelaide def Sheila 6-1 7-5
Yodavitch def Benchwarmer 6-2 6-2
Phobe def Jbors 4-6 6-4 6-3
Mollusk def Ying-Chang 6-1 7-6
Doublea def Stevos 6-3 6-3
Edelstein def Rhomberg 7-6 7-6

Child def Stroganoff 6-1 6-4
PSALT def Tricatrina 7-6 7-6
NEA def Valkryie 7-5 6-7 6-4
Jennacourt def Leftys 3-6 6-3 6-3
Bizet def J-man 7-6 3-6 6-4
Yodavitch def Adelaide 6-2 6-3
Mollusk def Phobe 7-6 2-6 6-4
Edelstein def Doublea 7-5 7-5

Child def PSALT 6-4 5-7 6-4
Jennacourt def NEA 4-6 6-4 6-3
Yodavitch def Bizet 1-6 6-3 6-3
Edelstein def Mollusk 6-2 6-7 6-4

Jennacourt def Child 7-6 0-6 6-4
Yodavitch def Edelstein 6-3 6-3

Jennacourt def Yodavitch 7-6 6-7 7-5

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